My cat poops somewhere outside I don't know.
I never have to walk him.
He only eats kibble; he will refuse human food.
He comes to bed when I do, gets up when I go to the bathroom and goes out (and he knows the schedule), comes in when its light.
Does not need medical care.
Again: NO POOP NO FOOD STEALING NO WALKING NO WHINING
and NO BACKTALK
and NO DELUSIONAL BELIEFS
except perhaps about lasers and roomba.
Most people are far more annoying and irrational than this.