My cat poops somewhere outside I don't know.

I never have to walk him.

He only eats kibble; he will refuse human food.

He comes to bed when I do, gets up when I go to the bathroom and goes out (and he knows the schedule), comes in when its light.

Does not need medical care.

Again: NO POOP NO FOOD STEALING NO WALKING NO WHINING

and NO BACKTALK

and NO DELUSIONAL BELIEFS

except perhaps about lasers and roomba.

Most people are far more annoying and irrational than this.