09 September 2014

John McCain blasts John McCain for being less of a douche than possible

[Washington, DC] Senator John McCain blasted himself for being less of hawkish douche than normal.  The senator, who rode to fame on his daddy's coattails followed by a serious fail over Viet Nam, castigated himself for less rabid speech than usual.  Married-rich and admitted war-criminal John Kerry agreed.  No other combat veterans were available, except for Ron Paul, who spit when he heard of these antics.