Then AFAIK I was death free for a while. Then well after leaving grad school, marriage, kid, mortgage, a friend got MS, couldn't read (or work, terrifically important to him, to his very identity), tried to off himself, failed, then tried again, and succeeded. I was with him frequently after the MS and first attempt. Cyanide causes cerebellar brain damage if you nearly succeed, BTW. That fucked me up more than the earlier stuff, which was more phenomenological than emotional like Dr. P was to me.